I’m going to miss the Adam streaming. I’m going to lose precious alone time. I’m going to be told something that I don’t want to hear. I didn’t sleep at all last night, despite my meds. Who could with the chaos? I’m tired, I fell asleep in my favourite class taught by my favourite teacher. Ah well, I’m making it up to him with a coffee/brunch outing in a half hour. My head is pounding and it’s all I can do to not wear my sunglasses inside again like yesterday. I can’t handle light very much anymore anyways. Just gives me a migraine. I’m thinking that this fall when I go for an eye exam, I’m going to get prescription sunglasses and start wearing them everywhere like Bono. I’m cool enough to pull that off. Right? Whatever. I can’t drive without sunglasses anymore; night or day. I can barely handle being inside without the lights off or dimmed. I think something is wrong. Maybe it’s just my medicines that are making me more sensitive than normal. Maybe it’s just stress. What does it matter? It’s been getting worse for the past two-ish years now. Maybe I’m just over sensitive naturally or something.
Mostly, I’m just kind of numb. My head (migraine) is numb. My thoughts are numb. My emotions are numb. I made that glitter jar last night. It helped a little but I don’t think I got enough oil in it. The glitter kind of clumped up. XDD I also couldn’t find the food colouring. I might buy some on the way home. Blue and red. Or green. Purple and green are my favourite colours. They always make me feel better. I didn’t make it for cutting but just because I needed something quiet to distract me.
Just keep my brother and I in your prayers. We need it. His grades are dropping and he’s getting into more trouble because of this mess and my health is pretty much shot. Could also use a cookie or some black cherry Hagen Dass but I’ve lost about 10 pounds the past few weeks. I don’t want to gain it back. XD
On a brighter note, here’s a pretty picture I found on DeviantArt:
Now to go draw something. I hope. I’ve been staring at this paper for about ten minutes now. I can’t bring myself to draw anything even though I know that I need to. XD