Thankfully, I’ve never been on the receiving end of a cruel anon. I have been bullied. Many times. Too many times. I know what it’s like. I know how painful it is. It’s a cruel and cowardly thing to do to a person. I’ve known my attackers but not many of you can say the same. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Just know that I’m always here to lend an ear if you need it.
The following is a mix of what I’ve gone through emotionally and what I have seen some of you go through. If you can relate, again, know that there are others of us here who do really care for you. We’ll fight for you like no one ever has. :0)
Something punched me in the chest.
Something else hit the back of my head.
I spun around trying to find my attackers but saw nothing but shadows. Shadows of people. What I think were people. They were so consumed with fear and hatred for what I was that they weren’t even human anymore. They were monsters that only looked human.
Something slammed into my legs knocking me over. I collapsed and looked up.
‘Why can’t you leave me alone?’ I cried. ‘Cant you see that I’m hurting enough?’
But they couldn’t see. They didn’t have the same eyes that I did. That few people I know did. They didn’t understand and therefore lashed out in fear. Their fear, their pain, their dislike and distrust over ran all other thoughts and emotions. They were consumed. Without life. Few of them, maybe, might see with these same eyes of mine, but instead of helping me, faded into the shadows and lashed out in the hopes that they would gain healing. Instead, they fell deeper and deeper.
Another shadow kicked at my ribs while the others punched my legs and pulled my hair. I cried out for help but no one came. This had happened to others. People had tried to save them from these shadows but soon left, too busy, too tired, or were caught in the same trap. I cried and screamed. No one heard me. I tried to fight back but my hands would only find air.
I just wanted it to stop. I would do whatever it took. I was so beaten down, so worn from the fight, I just wanted to lay down and never get up. I cried even more, knowing that there were few options to take at this point, either give up completely or join them. I didn’t want to become them. Soulless, lifeless, without care for others. I didn’t want to do to others what they were doing to me. No. I’ll go. I’ll leave and never return.
I’ll lay down. Submit and let the darkness take me.