Imagine. For imagination. Poster #3.
So my doctor put me back on Aderoll because I have issues with anxiety. However, their not sure if my anxiety is being fueled by the ADHD or if I really do have a freak chemical imbalance going on. So to eliminate the AD, I’m being put back on the most successful, hardest to swallow AD drug that I’ve ever been on. Oh yeah, btw, it cause me to lose my appetite and turns me into an insomniac, not that I’m not one already… It’s just funny, 8 years ago, I thought I was done with this horrid drug for good. I had learned how my brain was supposed to function and it taught me how to cope; my parents helped a lot with that too.
What I don’t like about it:
>I can’t swallow pills. I choke on Claratin with is the size of a small bread crumb. To make matters worse, it’s a capsule…so it floats… and dissolves in my mouth after 30 seconds of me trying to buck up the courage to swallow the blasted thing.
>Second thing I hate about it, which is by far the worst to me, it kills my imagination. Imagine, chaining up a small child and hiding them in a sound proof room. All of the noise that I’m use to hearing in the back of my head, all of the buzzing, disappears. That buzzing is what keeps me from going crazy half of the time because I’m so lonely that I have to create imaginary friends at the ripe old age of 20. No, this is not to gain pity but to help you understand me better. I hate pity with a passion. It’s like stabbing me in the lungs. I kind of miss the buzzing. The quiet, idealistic bees that keep me company throughout the day when people just aren’t helping me. I can remember in 9th grade, I used to imagine a dragon would visit me during marching band practice.
All this to say, I’m glad that I can focus a bit better and that I’m a little less jittery, however, I regret losing that comforting buzzing in the back of my head that has become my best friend.
Insomnia almost won again last night… Almost… I beat it’s face in with a great, short, imaginary adventure and it shut up. We’ll go to war again to night… XD
This break has been looooong and a somewhat dull. I’ve been dreaming the whole time. My own little oasis from the world and all of it’s problems. It’s been wonderful to be lost in my imagination. I’ve missed this wonderful planet in my head.
I know what you’re thinking… ‘Dude, this chick is crazy!’ No, I’m just remembering what it’s like to live like a child again. You should join me sometime, it’s an exhilarating experience. No matter how many times you’ve visited your own little world, you can never become tired of it. It’s impossible. It changes with you. You’re interests change, do they not? Your world changes with them. You’re big on dinosaurs today but in a few years, you’re big on space or the early American History.
So all of this break, I’ve been off with the Doctor, Aragorn and a few musical talents. I’ve enjoyed hiding away behind my thoughts. It’s been a great period for recharging. I don’t get to use my imagination much during the school semester because I’m busy and too stressed to think about anything else other than school, family, friends, and God.
I needed this. I needed to slow down. I needed to recharge my batteries.
What kind of adventures do you go on in your downtime?